Hi Hero 😊
Let’s discover more about self-esteem!
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is how we value and perceive ourselves. It’s based on our opinions and beliefs about ourselves, which can sometimes feel really difficult to change.
Your self-esteem can affect whether you:
- Like and value yourself as a person
- Are able to make decisions and assert yourself
- Recognize your strengths and positives
- Feel able to try new or difficult things
- Show kindness towards yourself
- Move past mistakes without blaming yourself unfairly
- Take the time you need for yourself
- Believe you matter and are good enough
- Believe you deserve happiness
What is low self-esteem?
Thoughts and feelings are usually based on our past daily experiences. The grade you get on an exam, how your friends treat you, ups and downs in a romantic relationship can all have a temporary impact on how you feel about yourself.
But there is something more than that. People with good self-esteem have normal ups and downs that change only temporarily how they feel about themselves. People with poor self-esteem instead have ups and downs that drastically impact the way they see themselves.
Where is it coming from?
Our self-esteem evolves throughout our lives as we develop an image of ourselves through our experiences with different people and activities, especially during childhood. When we were growing up, our successes, failures, and how we were treated by our family, teachers, coaches, religious authorities, and peers, all contributed to the creation of our self-esteem.
Who has got healthy self-esteem, has probably had these childhood experiences:
- Being listened to
- Being respected
- Getting appropriate attention and affection
- Being recognized for accomplishments and acknowledgment and acceptance of mistakes and failures
Who has got low self-esteem, has probably had these childhood experiences:
- Being hardly criticized
- Being physically, sexually, or emotionally abused
- Being ignored, ridiculed, or teased
- Being expected to be perfect all the time. People with low self-esteem were often given messages from parents, teachers, peers, or others that failed experiences (losing a game, getting a poor grade, etc.) were failures of their whole self
Another problem is that we have never been taught how to listen to our inner voice (critic).
How can you know if you suffer from low self-esteem?
Well have a look at the following list and if feel in at least one of those, it means that you have low self-esteem:
- Social withdrawal
- Anxiety and emotional turmoil
- Lack of social skills and self-confidence
- Depression and/or bouts of sadness
- Less social conformity
- Eating disorders
- Inability to accept compliments
- An inability to see yourself ‘squarely’, to be fair to yourself
- Accentuating the negative
- Exaggerated concern over what you imagine other people think
- Self-neglect
- Treating yourself badly but NOT other people
- Worrying whether you have treated others badly
- Reluctance to take on challenges
- Reluctance to put yourself first or anywhere
- Reluctance to trust your own opinion
- Expecting little out of life for yourself
Don’t worry, most of the population is in the same situation and I’m not here to judge you.
Please feel free to ask for your first life coaching session to start getting rid of this state.
In the meantime, I do recommend you to read this other article Bring your Self-esteem to the top: 9 best ways.
During my coaching sessions, you can learn super powerful strategies and NLP techniques to use when needed and become a hero living the life you’ve always wanted to.
Now you can click here if you want to have your first free online coaching session with me!
Not convinced yet? Please click here if you want to discover more about coaching and what you can expect from this life-changing journey!
To your super success,
Denise 😊💚
Founder & CEO @HEROES COACHING
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